I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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