Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
