You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
