I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
