i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
