Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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