I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
