wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
