woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
