Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
