Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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