Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
