He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
