so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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