if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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