He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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