im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
