Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
