I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
