mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
