11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I deserve this hangover.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
