I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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