on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
