The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
