there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
