Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
