I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
