Michael Bay diarrhea
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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