Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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