ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
