do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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