I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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