ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
