i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
