i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
try to milk me bitch
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