Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
