Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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