i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
