I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
