I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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