pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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