**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize