I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
