whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
