I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
