we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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