What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
