I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
