Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
