he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
