A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
