kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
