do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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