I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
